Entry: Hello! Saturday, July 04, 2015



It's been 1.5 years since I last blogged! Looks like no one comes here anymore.

Life's been okay I guess. A few more months till I have to submit my thesis. Hence the procrastination here :P

Maybe I no longer blog because I no longer feel like my past is relevant to me. This blog holds most of me in my teenage years. But none of that really means much to me now, now that I am well into adulthood. Obviously those shitty years shaped who I am etc, and I am still bitter as hell of a person, but I don't really have too many insecurities. I have a few new ones, but they are supported by stats, rather than just my opinion of myself. I feel particularly unhappy about my race and gender, knowing that the chance of me being awarded an opportunity is statistically lower than a white male, and a white female for that matter.

Of course, I could move back to Singapore where I have never felt bitter about my race. But it's just a different set of issues I have to deal with back there. It's such a shame, because I love the food there.

Oh btw, I'm at the age where everyone around me is getting married. Well, not everyone around me per se, as everyone around me actually is doing a degree...but more like, people from my school/class in Singapore. Weird.

I think I have more or less come to the conclusion that I will not get married. I am still with the last person I was with. Not sure what acronym/nickname I gave him.

Things are okay. But I do not feel inclined to get married. I am not entirely sure what the legal benefits are for getting married. Obviously there is the social/cultural benefit, or rather, acceptance. But I don't really have anyone to account to over here. So technically-speaking, no-one actually gives a shit whether I am married before I decide to: move in with someone, have kids with someone, buy a house with someone etc. Well, to a certain extent at least. There are obviously always people who give a shit about what other people do, which is why there are homophobes against gay marriage. But I just meant in the sense of not having that cultural pressure on me. I think there might be benefits to being legally married when you have kids, and potentially financial/tax benefits. So far neither of these apply to me.

I guess for some couples, they want a wedding and therefore that might be a reason to get married. I am not very keen for that. Because it just seems a little weird to throw a bunch of money...basically at prettiness. Almost every aspect of the wedding has a pretty aspect to it, which is what makes it expensive. Like rings, wedding favours, seat covers, drapes and decorations and shit, flowers, wedding dress/tux. Without the pretty aspect, it's just a cheap but bizarre event. Just imagine a big dilapidated hall with some knocked up tables and chairs. Guests are all seated there, with your groom at the end of the room wearing his everyday-wear. And then you open the creaky door. The room is huge so you have a long distance to walk. Awkwardly, you walk, all the way across the room to meet your groom, while people clap at your underwhelming appearance.

But of course, throw money to make this event pretty, and all of a sudden it sounds less bizarre that you are suddenly become a model for a day. But personally I would think that if you wanna throw money at prettiness, at least make it to be at something more permanent? Not just for a one-day affair? Go for a plastic surgery or something. Get rid of that nose you have always disliked. You will now look pretty in all your photos, and not just in that set of photos you took on one day.

   12 comments

Mit
August 1, 2016   06:03 PM PDT
 
How are you doing? Graduated? Hope you're doing well, pls update!
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December 17, 2015   02:25 PM PST
 
nice to hear from you again. been checking back my old blog post. reminiscing old times. hope you are doing good!
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November 14, 2015   04:33 AM PST
 
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November 7, 2015   11:36 PM PST
 
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October 26, 2015   06:55 PM PDT
 
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October 26, 2015   06:54 PM PDT
 
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August 4, 2015   07:34 AM PDT
 
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cendolabc
July 6, 2015   01:22 AM PDT
 
I'm glad you're writing again!
You definitely have a loyal reader here !
JLX
July 5, 2015   08:15 PM PDT
 
Glad to hear u r doin ok

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