Entry: I should update Friday, April 12, 2013



Seeing the comment on the tagboard by someone called sandwich guy made me decide that: fine, I should update.

Sorry it's been like...half a year. Fuck, where did 2013 go O_O
Those months just flew past.

Alright, what's new:

Peeg and I broke up, about 4 months ago.

OH!!! I have a really big piece of news. Haha. This one is the bomb: TODS IS MARRIED. I found out about his engagement when he chatted to me on my birthday (which was coincidentally when I last posted), saying it's going to be a spring wedding. So yesterday I stalked his then-fiancee and now-wife, and found out they got married a few days ago. And well, it doesn't matter if she's not academically-inclined or anything does it. I don't see myself doing any better because I am. At least if she's a happy person, that's more attractive than intelligence. And if she stays as hot and pretty as she is, she is good to go. So yes I know, I'm good in my own ways (just saying this because people always say it's a self confidence thing -- no it isn't, it's an objective pov!), just not the dating material way.

They started dating about a year and half ago, and I probably have mentioned her here. It was meant to be a rebound but I guess he's decided to go ahead with the wedding after all (he was being quite a bastard about it. Saying things like "I wondered if I was doing a Ted Mosby" and referring to her as "that Thai girl" when telling me about his engagement). Was pretty traumatised when I first found out about the engagement in any case. And learning that they went ahead with the wedding didn't make last night particularly pleasant either. I don't want him back or anything like that. It's just thinking about this reminds me of the damage he's done to me, and become more painfully aware of how it's hard for someone to love me. (Yes, I recognise that the reason for our break-up was his cheating and not my personality...But well...Ah whatever.)

I'm also seeing someone new anyway. Nothing official yet, if it even ever becomes official. I don't really care anymore. If he wants me, he wants me. If he doesn't, he doesn't. This attitude is really quite useful. When Peeg decided a break-up, I was basically sad for like half a day or something.

Work is okay. Friends-wise is good. Social events are the only things that seem to keep me going. Makes me motivated to do work and feel able to care less about relationships and how I probably will die lonely that kinda shit. Although, having said that, I was laying in bed last night thinking about how I cannot carry on like this for the rest of my life. Right now my friends are not married and stuff, which is why they're available and we can hang out together and my days just pass rather easily. But by the time I'm 35, probably 80% of people in my age group would be married and have families etc. They would not have time for me, and I'll be bothered by the fact I'm all alone. So I contemplated adopting a child when it comes to that point, but then I don't want to be one of those mothers who become overly possessive of their kids because they fear their kids leaving them all alone. :/

   3 comments

Aaron
October 31, 2013   01:42 AM PDT
 
Hi, Nice post thanks for sharing. Would you please consider an intro to my website on your next post. Please email me back. Thanks!

Aaron Grey
aarongrey112 at gmail.com

<a href="http://bloomingalmond.blogspot.com/">Insurance blog</a>
passerby
August 6, 2013   12:59 AM PDT
 
How are you? It has been 4 months. How r u doing? I've been checking regularly and am hoping silence means everything is great and u r too busy enjoying yourself to be here writing :)
addicts addict
July 9, 2013   10:40 PM PDT
 
zOmg

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