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Thursday, November 10, 2005
Shitting
I'm immortal and hence I don't shit.
But I'm sure all of you agree with me that shitting is good for destressing. Oh yes. Try taking deep breaths when you shit; breathing in the scent is aromatherapy.
I'm the efficient last-minute worker. Bio exams' today and I'm looking through the notes only now. Not surprisingly, I've found evidence that I've been paying close attention to the teacher in class.
This is the original look of the baby:
This is what I did to it in another pic:
...I'm sure my Bio teacher is as proud of me as my E.Math teacher is.
Tomorrow I have Bio paperssss!! And I've not studied. :(
Ignorant Friend and I were commenting about how it's bad enough to study a week before O's. And here we are, studying a day before each subject. But I bet you'll never beat IF.
On Monday we had two papers - EM and SS. Between the 2 papers there was a 3/4-hour break. IF studied SS during that break. She studied on the day of the exam! There's something really wrong with us. Lucky her, the topic on Venice came out.
So anyway, I'm here slacking because I have this impression that I have loads of time to study. I can't rid it. I guess it's 'cos I saw that the Bio paper 1 tomorrow starts at 2pm. Which means I can study in the morning.
I wonder how I got so friggin' lazy. IF and I were laughing about how we had expected ourselves to start studying weeks before the O's. We had never thought we'd ended up like that.
I always day-dream about how it would be if I got my result slip with all A1s on it. Very shiok, I suppose. But I know on that day I'm just gonna cry. Ew.
I guess this is what you call digging your own grave.
My father's currently having shingles. According to this site, the shingles is a "very painful rash". It can also "affect any part of the body, including head and limbs". Hmm...I can't help but wonder if Big Bird can get the shingles and the jingles.
The shingles usually spread linearly around the affected area.
My father's shingles start from his back.
In Chinese we call it chu she (no no, not choo-shee but choo-shuh. It means snake comes out.) I hear of this "snake" occuring more often around the torso area. In the past, the Chinese believed that if the snake makes one round around the affected area (usually the torso), you'll die.
My mother actually believed it. She told us, "Eh, go one round will die one leh!" My father and I went, "Huh?! No lah!"
My father went to see a Chinese doctor. Family business ok. My mother visited the current doctor's grandfather when she was young. My siblings and I visited the current doctor's father (Koh Chew Kai) when we were young. Now my mother visits the current doctor (Brian Koh) for her accupuncture sessions.
We all call the doctor(s), Ah Koh in Hokkien.
My father came back with 4 majestic bottles of Chinese medicine and some stinky pills. There was also a bottle of lao sai for physical application.
Yi du gong du. Use poison to treat poison.
My father said Ah Koh Junior used lighted wicks to briefly touch his accupuncture points at the front and at the back.
Someone asked me in my previous post why I like the F- word so much. I could have been an ass and said, "WHAT?! BUT I HATE BEING FAT!" but I didn't. :)
I realised that most bitter virgins are the ones swearing fuck. Fuck here fuck there, but never kena fucked.
Look at mr brown and lancerlord. The two infantile fathers. mr brown once swore you know. He really did. He said WTF. But it represented for World Trade Foundation. :(
Ok. I'm off for my papers. This entry's done in like 2 minutes...Heh. So anyway, I've decided to swear less fuck, because my mouth just grew an ulcer after yesterday's entry.
I'm currently in a bad mood. English papers are tomorrow. Bio the next day after tomorrow.
People in my school silently admits that it's an unspoken rule that if you say a paper is easy, you'll do badly.
I said EM was easy because I hate lying like those bitches who go, "I dunno leh. I scared I got careless mistakes." Yeah, fuck you.
Fuck those stupid bitches who leave the examination hall shaking their head as if they're gonna do badly but end up getting A1s.
Fuck those stupid bitches who meet a few tough questions and say they "sure die" for that paper and end up getting a distinction.
Fuck those stupid bitches who go "Wahhhh......" when I say the paper's pretty easy and I have a chance of getting an A1.
Fuck those stupid bitches who bother asking others how they felt about the paper, when all they're gonna get is "Err...okkkaaayyy lah." if the paper's easy or "Sure die one." if they cannot do 1-3 questions. What do these stupid bitches expect? Honest answers? My foot. Even they don't give honest answers to others.
But it sucks to be honest. Because it's true that you're cursed once you say a paper is easy. You can only think that it's easy about it deep down, but tell the whole world that the paper was oh-so-fucking hard!
Now I'm cursed. Because some stupid bitches asked me how the paper was.
I've got calls asking if this is Tan Tock Seng Hospital, Marymount Convent school, Dunno-What Postoffice.
Caller: Hello? Me: Yes? Caller: Who is this? Me: Who am I? This is me. Caller: Huh?
Me: Yea. Caller: Where's this place? Me: This is my house.
Caller: You wait ah wait ah...*passes phone to her husband or something*
Caller's husband or something: Hello? Me: Hello? CHOS: Where's this place? Me: (ugh) This is my house. Residential area lah. CHOS: Oh...oh... Me: Yea baby. CHOS: Is this a phone or handphone ah? Me: (what shit? You dunno what you're calling?) This is- CHOS: Is this Hotel 81? Me: (fuck?) No. This is my house, you know? House? CHOS: Is this Singapore or err- Me: Yes, this is Singapore. CHOS: Oh...oh...I think we called the wrong number ah... Me: (yah, duh.) CHOS: Because I got my friend's phone card ah. And he dialled this number: 6xxxxxxx72 Me: Ok. CHOS: Is that your number? Me: No. You dial the first 8 numbers and it'll direct you to my house even before you finish dialling your 72. (I lied here. I didn't bother finishing off my sentence because I know they're really distracted people.) CHOS: Oh...oh...I think we called the wrong number ah. Sorry ah.
They were a blur couple and were apparently not listening to me because I had to repeat my lines so many times. I bet those two wouldn't register it in even if I said something like, "Not Hotel 81. But how much are you willing to pay me?" Well, for one, he didn't realise when I said "Yea baby". I knew he wouldn't.
I was so touched that I teared. The only slightly upsetting thing was that Kenny wasn't there to tag and chat. I didn't want Kenny to do up such a theme for me actually.
Nonetheless, I appreciate it. Very much. My dearest Kenny Sia, how I lub you so. My crimson shards will still twitch to every beat of your heart. (haha...ack...)
Sheep without the shit.
Oh look! The hover colour is my MSN font colour!
One more thing. I'm so sorry for being a pest, Kenny.
