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Wednesday, November 02, 2005
Must Be Happy
I have decided that...
If I don't study, I am happy
If I study, I am happy
If I do badly, I am happy
If I do well, I am happy
If people don't like me, I am happy
If people like me, I am happy
If I wake up late, I am happy
If I wake up early, I am happy
If I do something for others, I am happy
If I do something for myself, I am happy
If I use the computer, I am happy
If I don't use the computer, I am happy
If I'm lonely, I am happy
If I have company, I am happy
I need to live for myself and be happy. Medication doesn't seem to work and that, really really sucks.
But, no matter what I do, I am happy. Then the bad dreams will go away. The insecurity will go away. The insomnia will go away. The problems will go away. The people who dislike me will go away. The fear will go away. The people who like me will come closer. The crack will mend.
It's hard to do this alone...But come on, desperate addict! You can do it! *thumbs up*
Can't remember most of it. I think Kenny was supposed to be living in my house. He was lying on the sofa and I went to him and say, "Eh, you sleep on the left, I sleep on the right leh." And then there was some idiot who called. Tsk. Interrupt my conversation with Kenny.
After I put down the phone, I went back and tried to tell him to move and make space for me. But I stopped half-way because he was giving me the don't-you-dare-try-anything-funny expression.
And the stupid stupid phone rang in real life. Woke me up. I tried going back to sleep, hoping that my dream would continue but it didn't. :(
Instead I got rewarded with some horrijible dream. Don't really remember it. But I think I was crying a lot in my dream...Should have never gone back sleeping.
Woke up feeling upset thanks to that dream. The fact that it was 1pm then didn't make me feel any better because I've wasted the whole morning. :(
I'm listening to Michael Buble's Home now. His voice.......is.......so......nice.......If only I can hear him sing to me. Heh...
BTW, I think of Kenny think until cannot sleep you know? He don't believe me one. :(
He offered to sleep beside me. Of course he wasn't joking about it. So I'll go to bed now. I'm expecting to see him beside me. :) I'm not breaking addict's addict's heart, am I? ;)
May Kenny and I keep our hands to ourselves.
Update: Previous post got some person leave comment at wrong site. Sure cannot sleep liao. Thanks ah, thanks a lot.
I got the permission from my mother to go overseas with Ignorant Friend!
IF and I cannot decide on where to go. Tell us, where to go? We're thinking of Paris because it sounds sexy (hahaha).
Stolen from sabc.edu
Don't tell me Kuching. We've already talked about it. We MAY drop by there for a 2-3 days...Depends lah. We've not come to conclusion on anything yet. For all you know, nothing would be decided and there would be no trip in the end.
By the way, Kuching like only got one attraction hor? ;) Uncle Kenny once said that he'd be my tour guide if I go there. Heh heh heh...I take his word for it. BUT DAMMIT, THE THOUGHT OF IT SCARES ME. It would be darn sexy to meet him and I'd be so pornyhorny happy...What if I die of heart attack when I see Kenny? Hey, it rhymes!
If I go Kuching, I can carry out my plan perfectly!! Because I have all the needed people involved: the assistants (Alex Kho as the muscular accomplice and IF as the videocam assistant) and the main lead himself of course. Heh heh heh......Oh yes, meeting that aKho guy would be great as well. :D He comments pretty regularly on my blog because he's mistaken this for a porn site.
Anyway, IF commented that she cannot imagine me meeting Uncle Kenny and said that I will just run away and she'll have to drag me. IF knows me well. She has done it before anyway. I had to meet a guy and fuck, was I scared to death. I think I hid behind her throughout the meeting. If only I'm as thick-skinned as I am online. But like I told her, I wouldn't go hide behind her if I ever meet Kenny. I must act calm and cool and err...give that I-scared-you?-Pooi! attitude.
Oh, thinking about a holiday before the worst is over is so wrong. So, where to go?
If you're Kenny SIA TZE FOO of kennysia.com and you know it kiss addict
If you're Kenny SIA TZE FOO of kennysia.com and you know it kiss addict
If you're Kenny SIA TZE FOO of kennysia.com and you know it and you really wanna show it
If you're Kenny SIA TZE FOO of kennysia.com and you know it kiss addict
Don't blame me. I'm feeling bored.
Update: Who cares if it's out of beat. I want Kenny Sia Tze Foo to kiss me. And not Kenny from Southpark who's supposed to be dead dammit. And that Kenny got some relations to Mr. Hankey right?
The most irritating shit ever (no pun intended). This is the Christmas poo my da ge got for me from I-dunno-where. It's noisy like a noisy shit should be. Maybe I'll record it down the stupid songs it sings if you ask me to. It just happens that shit belongs to toilet bowls ok? We all don't want to talk about that issue again...Oh wait, I just did. :)
Oh no! I digressed so much that this can be an entry on its own. Whatever.
Oh yah. You know you want to kiss me Kenny Sia Tze Foo of kennysia.com. Stop living in self-denial. *cough*
The only thing I fear about losing weight is that my boobies disappear. Even if you do sit-ups/crunches, the body will lose fat in general. Not only at the tummy area.
If I lose my boobies, I'd be singing to the tune of My Bonnie Lies Over The Ocean. Just that it would be a different version:
My boobies lie over the ocean,
My boobies lie over the sea.
My boobies lie over the ocean,
Oh bring back my boobies to me.
Bring back, bring back,
Oh bring back my boobies to me, to me.
Bring back, bring back,
Oh bring back my boobies to me.
Random search on Arts schools. Stumbled onto the School of Visual Arts' website. They're situated in NY. If I get in, so nice right? Join my brothers.
Fat hope lah. Fat fat hope.
Someone with no background at all how to get it?
Anyway I get scared reading the details there. Must be like damn pro then can get in. :( I not pro. I just like.
And maybe I'm not ready for it you know. I have a feeling I'll become a very boring person drowned in artsy stuff. Then maybe my blog will become some nerd blog. And I think if I go into an Arts school, it would be kinda terrible. In the end all they want are the results as well. KNN with your passion lah. To link passion with practicality is like to decay your passion. And going to such a school is really talking about being practical.
EEKS!
Haiya...Feeling damn sian. Can I just don't do anything for the rest of my life?
I wanted to try searching for "Arts school for lousy people" but I don't think I can get any results. :(
Damn. I should just stay in my comfort zone of JC. Whee. Wait, I still have friggin' O's to take!! Can I don't takeeeeeeeeeeeeeee......
Oh, what a silly entry.
DAMMIT. I DON'T WANT TO TAKE O LEVELS. SOMEBODEH! KILL MEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!
