It really sucks to be without friends back home.

We just arrived home last night and AirAsia was boasting about how we have landed 20 minutes before the scheduled arrival time..haha. It was again, amazingly fast. We took off at about 8pm and when the seat belt signs went off 5 minutes later, I plugged in my earphones. Listened to music for less than 15 minutes and then they announced for us to swtich off all electronic devices and buckle in to prepare for landing. Crazy speeds.

Anyway, right now it's dark and gloomy outside and it just feels melancholic. I'll be heading off to the airport few hours later to send Banana off. Sigh..

BF has flown off,

Banana is flying off tonight (went out with her just once since she returned),

IF and I haven't contacted each other for more than a month (dunno what to say to her either - besides uni talk),

good male friend is stuck in NS for 5 days a week.

There are other friends whom I don't mind hanging out on a frequent basis but I don't think the feeling is mutual. Especially since unlike me, they're busy people and so will spend whatever time they have left with more important friends/things.

I mean, this happens even with my closest friends (Banana, IF, good male friend). I try not to bother them even when they're off work or school hours because I'm aware that I may not be that high up on their mental ranking list to sacrifice their other more important commitments. I don't want to end up unknowingly putting them in a spot by asking them out time and again.

From this, you can tell my adjective of "closest" is a very relative thing based on my own list. Because if I have closest friends like those that other people do, I would most likely be ranked quite highly on their list and wouldn't have to worry about imposing on them by asking them out. I am assuming that most people do not have such issues with their close friends.

But it's possible that my friends have the same impression towards me. And so it ends up such that just like how I don't ask them out, they don't either. Or for male friends, they worry they'll send the wrong signal...Like how I do.

...

OR MAYBE I'M THE ONLY PERSON THINKING THIS WAY.

And that no-one else in my circle of friends really gives a shit and to them it is as simple as: sian enough, go out; otherwise, wouldn't waste the time. :P

Anyway, my point of this entry is that there will be many bored days up ahead due to lack of company, till the next time I have to enter Malaysia for a teaching (again, I know).